He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Randomize
