I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
