yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
