Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
