Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Houston, we have a squirter
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
