She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
