i think i have two assholes
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
