i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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