Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
