my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Randomize
