i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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