He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
