I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
