question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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