I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Screwed.edu
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
