You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
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