4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
