My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
