hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
