waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
