I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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