Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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