You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
