He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
