THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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