You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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