I haven't been this sober since birth.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Randomize
