Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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