Ambien. No doubt about it.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
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