just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
