you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
