Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
