are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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