I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
