I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
She made me pour olive oil on her.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
