we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
nutella sex= disaster
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
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