So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
