I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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