I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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