She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
