somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
