big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
