U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
