dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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