It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
