I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
