real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Randomize
