you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
