: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
