i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Randomize
