So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
