remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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