For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
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