Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Randomize
