I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
