Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
